I have had the evening as well as this morning to try and get a handle on some things, and to think a little deeper about my unhappiness in the past several days. My best friend had it right when she was telling me that I needed to take some space from C, and really work on being healthy for myself and moving on. There's no way that I can try to get past my current feelings if I'm spending time with him acting as if nothing has changed. As painful as it is to admit, she's correct. I knew that she was right the moment she typed it to me. I had initally told myself and C that I needed to take some space, but that only lasted a few days. I called him on lunch today and told him what I was feeling: how this was just too hard right now and I can't handle one on one meetings. I told him that I'm not mad or upset with him for anything, but I need space from him on a one on one basis. Group settings is fine but that's how it will have to be until I feel better about this whole situation. I'm thankful that he was understanding and told me that if that's what I need to do, then he understands.
I feel like a bit of weight has been lifted off of my shoulders already. My focus now just needs to be to continue to work on making myself happy and emotionally healthy: moving on with my life in a positive way. This includes the LEARN process that I posted yesterday. Andrea, I agree with you...the A process is going to be very difficult, but beneficial.
3 comments:
I am proud of you. I know this is hard. I love you.
very good young grasshopper. work on your inner kung fu technique. seriously though, you came to this conclusion much faster than i did in my situation, so you really are sparing yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache and frustration and anger. this way, you can still be friends with C down the road ya know, because you won't (hopefully) grow to resent him. I almost came to resent N, but I keep having to stop myself and say its not her fault, its not her fault. you won't have to do that. kudos big sister. i love you.
Just remember, I have been through all of this before. I went through it with E. We lived together after we had broken up, and it was torture for me. We acted as if nothing had ever changed, and when it came time to actually move out of the apartment, it was like I had broken up twice! I knew that you were going to have a really hard time with N and that living arrangement, and I'm glad that you got out of it. This is really the only way you would have been able to move on in a healthy way. I love you both too!
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