I've been thinking about the qualities or "must have" attributes of any future guy that I might date. I asked some of my friends what they thought first, and what I found was that they were all pretty much on the same page as me. So, here is my list of "must have" qualities:
Caring
Family-oriented
Quick witted
Easy going
Open minded
Stable
Fun (but not a partier)
Good looking (no Steve Buscemi's)
Physically fit and interested in staying that way
Willing and able to give equally in the relationship so that I'm not carrying 100% on my own.
Must love dogs, more specifically, MY dog.
Non smoker
No drugs
No felonies
Respectful and understanding
Responsible
No baggage!
Honest
Has never cheated on a partner.
That's it for now. I'm sure that this list will probably grow. I obviously don't want to make an unattainable man, but I think that these items are personal make it or break it attributes. I'm also going to discuss with my therapist the situation that I am in, and what her thoughts are on how I can continue to handle this in a constructive manner. I know that I initially said "no guys for a year," but I think that may be a stretch. It will all have to depend on how I'm feeling. I think that several months of working on myself would be sufficient, since I'm no good for anyone right now. I'm ok for myself and Maggie, but that's about it right now.
I have a five mile run tonight-wish me luck!
6 comments:
I don't like this statement:
"since I'm no good for anyone right now"
Please rephrase. :D
I am not sure I can rephrase it, to be completely honest. I'm not good for anyone right now. I'm good for myself, and I'm good for Maggie, but romantically? I'm just not. I'm not upset about this, it's just the simple truth :)
I think your list is a good one sister. Here's what I also think though....., having a set of standards that is very high is fine and good. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to settle for something less, but you will find that some men will take your list and work hard to make themselves appear the way you want them to be. Just be careful about how public you decide to make your list.
P.S. I love you sister and you deserve prince charming and all the good things that go along with that (carriage rides, flowy royal gowns, a crown, mice that turn into horses, the works). I just don't want you to be dissapointed when you find that most men will not fit your criteria just based off of what you have here. You've created the impossible man.
Well, as long as you meant romantically... :)
I'm not sure if I've created the impossible man. I think that it's good to have high standards, and while I'm willing to settle for some things, most of the things on that list I need. I need a man who is caring, wants a family and puts as much into the relationship as I do. I don't want a smoker, heavy drinker or someone who does drugs. No excuses. I need someone who is willing to compromise and can be understanding about where I come from, and what I've been through in my life. I need someone who is honest and responsible; stable and open-minded. I like quit wit and good humor, and while looks aren't everything I do want to be attracted to him.
I know that there are men out there who fit what I'm needing. It's kind of like Micheal Buble says..."I just haven't met you yet"
I believe there are tons of guys out there fitting that exact description. The problem comes when you start adding things like "tall, dark, and handsome" hehehe
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